As most of the men in the world I constantly feel that I have figured out how the female mind works, and then someone comes along the next day, slap my reality to pieces and suddenly I am back to square one.
Let me give you an example:
I am not a dating man. In my life I have generally met someone, hooked up and then it's either over or not. I just recently had my dating virginity taken from me, and just like when you loose any virginity, it was good at first, but then it was confusing, hurtful and it ended up leaving me unsatisfied and with a feeling that I lost out on something important that should/shouldn't have been done.
This was a girl I knew from years back, we never really spoke much, but knew who the other were. For some reason I can't remember, we had lunch a couple of months back. We spoke for 3 hours and I ended up being late for an important meeting. The chemistry was amazing, I am a very social person and attentive to body language and verbal signs. For all of those out there who knows what large pupils, excessive fiddling with hair, exaggerated focus on lips etc means. It was all there. We ended up going to a movie 2 days later, having a drink afterwards and an additional 2 lunch dates after that. At least, I considered them dates. Life was a dance on roses and I couldn't believe how lucky I was.
This, dear reader, (I bet you thought I forgot about the original purpose of this post) is where the perception issue will become apparent. After postponing a date at my house 3 times (we had a lunch date between the 2. and 3. time) I called her on it and said I understand you might have other important issues to attend to, but I am wondering how serious you can be about dating me if you constantly put me as a second priority. Her answer was rather surprising: "This is not easy for me to say, as I really think we have great chemistry, but I don't think I can us being anything other than friends, if I needed an explanation she was not interested in anyone at the moment" it was said in about 1000 more words, but that is the gist of it. I answered that was fine, she doesn't have to explain why she's not attracted to me, I am just glad she let me know.
(even though I was completely flabbergasted, I had been so positive that she was..) Her answer was something like "you are being childish, I didn't say I wasn't interested". After this followed a more or less confusing conversation that I won't bather you with.
So what's the interesting perception issue? Well, one out of two, both being interesting differences, but just one being applicable in this case:
1) She believed a guy would dedicate 4-5 nights/afternoons strictly for her just to make her friendship, this was something he would do after knowing her for years
2) She believes it is better to pretend to not have noticed than to portray the truth; she is just not interested
In my opinion (and I am generally right about these things, even though I was apparently fooled by this cutie) it's a definite 2).
Now, why is it that women (yeah, I am going to generalize here, this is not the first time it has happened to any man) feel that it is better to let men believe that women can't take hints and need obvious signs that a man is interested. Than the alternative; telling the truth.
Cause let's be honest; if anyone can notice and interpret hints it's women...
The only thing this will lead to is that these men might frighten off future romances by being overly clear of their intentions early on.
My personal opionion; human cowardness. This is not something limited to women of course, but I think this is what it's based on. She might tell herself that she is doing it to spare his feelings, but it is just a means to avoid the akwardness that inevidebly follow from telling the truth.
This post is getting to long already, I'll stop here, for now
